I've been having a wild rash of dreams about other pregnant people. And last night, we broke that mold... I had a child. Historically I never dreamt I had a child. I have never wanted children, ever, dreamwise or in the flesh. Nor do I foresee that desire rising out of my cold womb. Last night's dream was like the worst sex-shame dream multiplied to the Nth degree. I had a week old baby, one I didn't remember bearing... I had left it for three days somewhere in my house, I couldn't recall where, until I stumbled upon it in a stroller behind some chair. Though it was wrapped in a blanket and happy, I hadn't fed it, spoken to it, looked at it, dressed it, changed its diaper, or played with it in some days. And the worst part was, when someone asked me, I couldn't recall its name. I remember struggling in the dream to think of what I might call a child that didn't have any negative associations and I was panicked. I was suddenly thrust into motherhood for a nameless babe I somehow knew was mine but had no way of knowing for sure. So I bathed it and got ready to go to a fair while trying to think of a name. Feeling horribly guilty that someone might find out what a terrible mother I was.
shaken © Laura Kicey
I woke up with the same weird weight of guilt mixed with disgust. Its worse than waking from the dream where you are getting it on with your gross crusty coworker who you can't stand. I had a baby?!? And I forgot?!? I am the most horrible person!!
burial © Laura Kicey
Ahem. As you might be able to glean, not much has been happening. Certainly not the production of progeny. Not ever. I am trying to get (yet another) new website together. Submit to stock. Soak in the bath and hope I someday heal. Clean the house.
rhymed couplet © Laura Kicey
Mr. D's opening was this last weekend and it went rather well. I also sold a print. And I might be doing portraits for a woman I met who was wearing boa constrictors bravely around her neck. And I am the featured artist for the week of July 13th at Jewcy.com.
When something happens that doesn't involve bodily fluids, you, dear readers, will be among the first to know.