Wednesday, August 23, 2006


featherlite © Laura Kicey

The day wound down in a very strange rough way. I've been having really wretched headaches for four days now, no aspirin was touching them. Along with generally being bitchy, queasy, and jittery. I thought stress. Then I did some math. I realized I filled the coffee canister four days ago. Seems I filled it with an accidental purchase of DECAF.

I've been in withdrawal for days. This explains OODLES.

So I went out food shopping and got some coffee. When I came home I unpacked the groceries in a couple of trips to the car. Last trip I notice something on the garden wall which is right by the main road. I walk over closer and see it is a baby bird. He is chirpy and gleeful. I walk closer to attempt to shoo him into the garden.

Unexpectedly he flies...and counter-intuitively... he flies towards me. And onto the berm of the busy street. Me: starts freaking out.

Attempts... by walking into traffic to steer birdy back to grass. Cars are veering towards center of road to avoid madwoman making insane gestures at the street. Baby bird flies into the street. Car comes. And I hear it and see it all and double over and shriek and start sobbing.

And turn to see that I was being watched by a guy in a car who was making ready to turn. And feel like a complete lunatic but cannot stop sobbing and can barely stand up am balling so hard.

Am still feeling like the most horrible person on earth at the moment.

Went inside. Made some coffee. For the first time in a long time really wanted something stronger than coffee. Have nothing stronger than coffee. Ball some more. New headache moves in. And then K picks me up and smooths my hair and we make my website happen in three-ish hours. And I am distracted from the fact that I am a murderer for that long.

Well that was a load off my mind.


This has been a very long day.


Blogger Michael K. said...

Good God, how ridiculous. Thousands of baby birds get killed in all sorts of nasty ways every day, and yet you see ONE die, and you flip shit. For pity's sake, you're not a murderer.

And the coffee part of the story is HILARIOUS. Why don't you write more funny stuff on your blog? C'mon, you're a Kicey, after all.

5:32 PM, August 25, 2006  
Blogger helveticaneue said...

Yes but all those others that die, I don't have to listen to all their bones break and their gore squirt out once I inadvertantly chase them into traffic.

Isn't the fact that I have you as a brother enough comedy?

9:50 PM, August 25, 2006  

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