description v. recognition

lazarus © Laura Kicey

The District Attorney called me a couple days ago and I just had a chance to talk to her for the first time over lunch today. Just the ordinary rigamarole. The trial should go to court on the 19th but won't necessarily... who knows... wanted to touch base.... we'll talk again... any questions.

Yeah, one burning one. I start off with I thought I was deemed not a credible witness because I couldn't pick the guy out...

Wait, you picked him out didn't you, at the lineup?

I said I picked who I thought it was but no one ever told me if that was the guy.

Oh but it was, in fact.

At the moment of hearing this I felt like I was filling up with all these random emotions and a migraine shot in. It was a most unexpected revelation, all these months later to hear. I know I looked at him, but it didn't feel like enough. But it was.


bail © Laura Kicey

Accompanying these feelings is the thought of going and doing this again. Face to face with the guy, testifying in court. I don't know if I could conjure his face again. Which she said didn't matter. She said she would ask me to point him out, but if I couldn't it wasn't a deal, it would help, but since there are oh... 12 other witnesses, this doesn't hinge on my ID.

She said I might be surprised though. She said she has told juries about the gap between description and recognition. You can describe someone and be rather off with height and weight and details, but in person, it all falls into place and you just know without a doubt, that that is the person, even if your description has little in common with them.

So much of what I remember now is only stored in photos.
How much I lose with the making of so much...